Exposure to LBGTQ+ Culture is Not Going To Turn Your Kids Gay

“Transgender people want to groom our kids and turn them gay!”

I wish that was hyperbole.

It’s not.

There seems to be a faction of the world that believes that “gay” is something you can catch through exposure, like a cold. Others think being gay or transgender is a mental disorder.

Then there’s these guys.

I was curious, as I always am, about if having gay parents makes a kid more likely to identify as other than heterosexual as an adult. Do kids raised by same-sex parents have poorer outcomes than their opposite-sex raised peers? Finally, can having a transgender person read a book to your Kindergarten class turn a kid transgender if they aren’t already?

My Experiences with the LGBTQ+ Community

Being gay was never, ever portrayed as anything unacceptable in my family. My mom had a gay brother, as did my dad. We never knew that their having a boyfriend (later, husband) was anything to get worked up over. They were just part of the family.

Both of my uncle faced hardships when coming out into their Catholic families, as was expected at the time. These days, I have family members who identify as bi, gay, and transgender. We love all of them, even though Grandma needed some extra time to wrap her head around being trans.

This accepting environment that I grew up in might be uncommon, I’m not sure. It certainly set me up for a life of loving and accepting LGBTQ folks. We go to Pride, Drag and Burlesque shows, and the only bar I’ll ever go to alone is a Gay Bar. It ain’t no thang.

With that understand of my position, let’s look at the research.

Studies on Kids of Same-Sex Parents

Research into these topics is not uncommon, but longitudinal research is. Many of the published research has certain problems, like small study size, no controls, etc.

An OLR Research report summed it up well:

Researchers studying gay and lesbian households also acknowledge difficulties in studying these families. Some they ascribe to a lack of reliable information on the number and location of gay and lesbian families, which prevents researchers from using random, representative samples in their studies. (Most research to date has involved small groups of white lesbian mothers who are comparatively better educated and wealthier than the general population. ) Another problem is that visible gay parenting is such a recent phenomenon that most studies are of the children of self-identified lesbians and gay men who became parents in the context of heterosexual relationships that dissolved before or after they assumed a gay identity. And a third problem is that since gay men and lesbians cannot marry, researchers cannot compare child outcomes between ‘married’ and ‘unmarried’ same-sex parents or similarly-situated heterosexual households.

The longest-running longitudinal study is on children of lesbian parents, which has been ongoing since 1986. I will use this research as my core, since it’s the largest and longest running, and supplement in some of the studies that include male same-sex parents.

In a paper released as part of this study entitled, “Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Among Donor‑Conceived Offspring in the U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study from Adolescence to Adulthood”, the following was concluded: “This is the only study that has followed the biological offspring of lesbian parents from birth to adulthood, prospectively and longitudinally. The results indicate that offspring of lesbian parents are less likely to identify as transgender than the general public, but more likely to identify as LGB or queer“

The second part doesn’t surprise me. If your family will obviously accept you for who you are, you don’t have to bury your feelings to keep your family on your side.

Reading deeper into the study, you’ll find this gem, “The self-reported quality of life of the adolescents in this sample was similar to that reported by a comparable sample of adolescents with heterosexual parents”.

Conversely, though, literature reviews find a different result. Findings from Bridgewater State University when both same-sex male and female parents are considered suggest no statistically relevant difference between rates of children from same-sex marriages identifying as homosexual. Quote, “We have presented a different approach for determining consensus by evaluating 72 literature reviews published on same-sex parenting between 2001 and 2017 with a focus on the issue of whether LGBTQ parents are more likely (or not) to raise children who are LGBTQ. Our results, derived from English language social science journals, found that over 90% of the literature reviews agreed with a ‘no difference’ conclusion. The few that disagreed with that consensus had major limitations”.

Research coming out of the Netherlands found that children raised by same-sex parents outperform their opposite-sex peers in both primary and secondary education. Netherlands being the source is interesting, as same-sex marriage has been legal there for 20+ years. Dr. Deni Mazrekaj states, “We found that same-sex parents are often wealthier, older and more educated than the typical different-sex couple. Same-sex couples often have to use expensive fertility treatments to have a child, meaning they tend to have a high level of wealth and are also very motivated to become parents. Their children perform very well in school“.

The findings for the same topic in the states doesn’t find an advantage to same-sex raised kids, but finds no disadvantage when compared to their peers. Boston University release an article called “Gay Parents As Good As Straight Ones”, wherein I found this: “Siegel and Perrin’s report also cites three studies done in the United States and Europe—two involving lesbian mothers and the third one involving men and women whose adult children reported they’d had a parent involved in a same-sex relationship. Those studies similarly found no difference in outcomes for the children as compared with children of heterosexual parents”.

To sum it up, it appears that having gay parents in no way sets a kid up for a life of misery, or even a higher chance of identifying as homosexual. In fact, some findings suggest kids of gay parents have an even great chance of success than their peers. Regardless of whether they have the same chances as their peers OR a greater chance, the studies do show that gay parents are, overall, good parents.

Drag Queens and Reading to Kids

I gotta say, I love a good drag show. Something about the campiness and people living their best lives authentically really gets me. My favorite ever was a Drag King at Lush in Minneapolis re-enacting the Book of Mormon. It was FANTASTIC.

I also wouldn’t have an issue with a drag queen reading to my kids. If a man dressed up as a fancy lady and reading Clifford the Big Red Dog is going to inspire my kid to identify as transgender, she was bound to find that inspiration somewhere in her life eventually. I believe you can’t MAKE trans kids. Am I right?

It’s hard to directly answer that question. One study examined the perceptions of Library Workers who have and have not hosted a Drag Queen Storytime event. When asked about how it impacts child development, “The majority of all respondents strongly agreed or agreed that DQS supports healthy child development and positively influences children’s understanding of gender and/or sexuality; however, there were significant differences with small to moderate effect sizes between hosts and non-hosts”.

Another research paper I could only get free access to because I’m an M.S. Student at NYU is called, “Child-Sacrificing Drag Queens: Historical Antecedents in Disinformative Narratives Supporting the Drag Queen Story Hour Moral Panic“. What a name!

The key finding here was, “There have been no documented cases of a child molested due to a DQSH event. It is, of course, possible that DQSH increases acceptance of LGBTQ+ people, but whether that is troubling depends on your point of view“.

It’s not troubling in mine.

Conclusion

Short but sweet: Kids in gay homes aren’t at any disadvantage compared to their peers, per the research. They may be slightly more likely to identify as other than heterosexual (gay, bi), but not more likely to identify as transgender.

I personally know two women raised by gay parents, and they turned out fantastic. Successful in both family and career endeavors.

Unsurprisingly, drag queens aren’t coming for our kids. Their existence in society has no negative consequences for our kids, but they do raise the blood pressure of a certain demographic of crusading Christians and bigots. That’s a THEM problem, not a QUEEN problem.

Slipping this in here as a future research topic: Does transitioning as a teenager impact long term mental and physical health? 🤔

Thanks for reading!